The name made him feel a little worse, considering he knew the other athlete had obviously been watching for him. But even if he was facing the window, he saw that sharp look from those golden eyes and his own teal narrowed a bit. Even now, Sousuke wasn't someone to let people order him around (only Rin got away with that kind of thing). But eventually, he lowered his head, offered a soft sigh of relent, and turned to head over as Kise wanted.
The bed shifted a little as he sat beside him. “You know as well as I do no one “lets” me do something. I go my own way and do my own things.” To be responsible for himself was his way of thinking, to share neither the glory of winning or the burden of defeat with anyone but himself. Yes, it was stupid and yes, he'd seen the error of that thinking earlier in the semester. But old habits die hard and he still had to struggle to push through those feelings sometimes.
“My coach and therapist worked with me, but every time the doctor said I could take the brace off, I threw myself back into swimming as hard as I could to make up for all the time I'd lost.” He leaned back, slid his hands behind his head, and settled on his back on the bed, eyes gazing up at the ceiling. “My best friend was trying his best over in Australia; we both dreamed of going to the Olympics together. I couldn't let myself break that promise and fall behind. So I fought. Even if it was stupid.”
He should have known better. And his coach did everything he could to stop him, bar chaining him up. But he was as stubborn as a glacier and found his way back to the water or the gym regardless of what happened. Even after everything broke and he watched his teammates get further and further ahead, leaving him behind, he still fought. Miserable. Hurting. Therapy. Rehabilitation. Breakdown. Therapy. Rehabilitation. Breakdown. Over and over. Until he finally realized that his dream would never come true. And he decided to give up swimming forever.
Until he watched Rin swim in last semster's regional race. To see him going from failing alone in his heat to dominating the competition in the relay with his friends, Sousuke found one more flare, a tiny spark of a dream that fueled his body once more.
Kise wasn't stupid. The swimmer knew the basketball player could guess what the real reason was for his intentions. A friend. Sure, Sousuke was the first to tell anyone that Rin was his rival, that he swam against or alongside him, but never “with” him. But in reality, he simply had been denying the very real reality that Rin was his best friend. The one who introduced him to swimming and nurtured that raw, amazing talent as both coach and rival. Rin gave him his dream. And Sousuke sacrificed everything, his sport, his dreams, even his future, for the chance to swim with him one more time.
All of that, he quietly explained to the other athlete. Until it was left out in the open, said and done. And he fell silent once again.
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S'all good~ Going through the same myself.
Date: 2015-10-29 07:19 am (UTC)The bed shifted a little as he sat beside him. “You know as well as I do no one “lets” me do something. I go my own way and do my own things.” To be responsible for himself was his way of thinking, to share neither the glory of winning or the burden of defeat with anyone but himself. Yes, it was stupid and yes, he'd seen the error of that thinking earlier in the semester. But old habits die hard and he still had to struggle to push through those feelings sometimes.
“My coach and therapist worked with me, but every time the doctor said I could take the brace off, I threw myself back into swimming as hard as I could to make up for all the time I'd lost.” He leaned back, slid his hands behind his head, and settled on his back on the bed, eyes gazing up at the ceiling. “My best friend was trying his best over in Australia; we both dreamed of going to the Olympics together. I couldn't let myself break that promise and fall behind. So I fought. Even if it was stupid.”
He should have known better. And his coach did everything he could to stop him, bar chaining him up. But he was as stubborn as a glacier and found his way back to the water or the gym regardless of what happened. Even after everything broke and he watched his teammates get further and further ahead, leaving him behind, he still fought. Miserable. Hurting. Therapy. Rehabilitation. Breakdown. Therapy. Rehabilitation. Breakdown. Over and over. Until he finally realized that his dream would never come true. And he decided to give up swimming forever.
Until he watched Rin swim in last semster's regional race. To see him going from failing alone in his heat to dominating the competition in the relay with his friends, Sousuke found one more flare, a tiny spark of a dream that fueled his body once more.
Kise wasn't stupid. The swimmer knew the basketball player could guess what the real reason was for his intentions. A friend. Sure, Sousuke was the first to tell anyone that Rin was his rival, that he swam against or alongside him, but never “with” him. But in reality, he simply had been denying the very real reality that Rin was his best friend. The one who introduced him to swimming and nurtured that raw, amazing talent as both coach and rival. Rin gave him his dream. And Sousuke sacrificed everything, his sport, his dreams, even his future, for the chance to swim with him one more time.
All of that, he quietly explained to the other athlete. Until it was left out in the open, said and done. And he fell silent once again.